Girls have a lot of secrets: the way they look when they wake up in the morning, how they are sometimes lazy and will eat straight from the pan over the sink, looking into a magnified mirror to analyse their pores after a hot bath, how they don’t wear matching underwear all the time, their real weight and the number of partners they’ve slept with and how, at times, they are as uncouth and messy as the opposite sex.
Boys don’t know what a hot mess girls are when they get ready to meet them for a date. Their hair is up in pins before they attempt to curl or straighten it,their face is bare before the base, foundation, blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss are painstakingly painted on. They are traipsing around in their underwear in front of their walk in closets throwing outfit after outfit on the floor trying to find something that is flattering and slimming and suitable and then of course come the shoes, bags, jewelry, fragrance – decisions, decisions and more decisions… just so we can look perfect for you.
I can’t speak for anyone else but it takes awhile for me to completely let my guard down in front of a guy. I want him to see the best side of me, the side that isn’t burdened with the baggage of relationships of yesteryear, the neurotic OCD side where I am constantly checking for specks of dust and washing my hands after touching foreign objects and the part of me that is nerd, awkward and says all the wrong things. It’s all about keeping up the illusion.
I just wonder how, relationship after relationship, heartbreak after heartbreak, girls are constantly putting themselves out there and going through the process of getting into the comfort zone with a guy. That said, as exhausted as I am just thinking about it, I’m beginning to think that maybe, just maybe I might finally be ready for someone new, whoever and wherever he may be.
My girlfriends like to pray for their ideal to be the loves of their lives. Someone tall, successful and handsome… a guy with a great sense of humour who loves children and animals but I think all those ideals seem a little pointless because we all know that it boils down to timing and chemistry.
Right now, I’m sure there’s a stranger out there who might be driving to work, or waking up next to someone else or having dinner and drinks with his buddies. He could be playing sports or flying 30,000 feet above the air or God know what else. So my prayer is not that God gives me my ideal man but that when that guy finally comes into my life, I’ll be able to recognise him and that I will be able to appreciate him for everything that he is. And that it won’t take long for me to get to the point where I will be comfortable enough to be myself around him, unedited.
I pray that he finds me well.